Hi and welcome to our little corner of the net called The Rhinoceros Express. We're a little new [yeah yeah you can call us baby rhinos or calf, if you will] at the moment so do tune in for the posts to flow in. Oh! By the way, this page is best viewed on Firefox, Flock, Google Chrome, well basically anything that isn't IE. Blerghh. Cheers! Team RhinocerosExpress

We play every Tuesdays and Thursdays @ 6pm Tajung Aru Beach. Drop by and have a go, I assure you, it is wicked fun!

How Low Can You Go?

Posted by Rainer Yong On 4:44 PM 3 comments
Really, how low can you wear that before you stop and think, "you know what? Maybe I don't need em' pants"

I would love to unleash my canines on him. Run b*tch run!

Aye, Yo, Dawg!

Fashion is getting crazier these days. I mean with majority of Chinese population [come on admit it, we have more weird dressing people than any other race *cough* LALAs *cough*] in Malaysia mixing their style of J-pop with 70's picnic table cloth fashion its no wonder everything is getting out of hand.

Seriously, does that end result work for you? LOOK AT THOSE COLOUR MISMATCH! I really think the chick on the far right fell down recently, knocked her head and screwed up her fashionoblongata so bad.

Anyways, enough firing for today. This is not a racist post. If you are at your seat now making a big fuss over this, shut the f*ck up and grow up.

To the other "type" of people out there [you know what race you hail from], stop wearing tight jeans and being emo. Even if you tell me that you are not an "emo" i would tell you to stop shitting yourself. You listen to emo song, spotted an emo haircut on your head and wear emo looking clothes and you don't call yourself emo? Guys, go google up what happens to your sperm from wearing tight jeans.

Peek a Boo, I see You

No she is not smiling cause she is liking it. She is smiling cause she finds you disgusting. Look at that, that's not natural at all! Like I've said GOOGLE what happens to guys like this.

On a last note, back to the guy on top with really low cut jeans. I only have one word of advice for you buddy, leave it to the professionals to wear 'em low. When I say professionals i meant :-

umpfff umpfff coming thru!

Give your thoughts on this in the comments section, and leave a question for me to answer too, about ANYTHING. I'll try my best to make an article based on the best question. Thanks for tuning in. *POOF*

Doo Doo At A Certain W-Square

Posted by Rainer Yong On 4:43 AM 7 comments

Remember those dirty school toilet days? Just when you thought you won’t see the same shit [punt intended] anymore, it reemerges.

2 weeks back the RhinocerosExpress team went to W-Square for some good old fish on a pan with some potatoes on the side. While waiting I had to swing by the John and went straight to the only cubicle available. To my surprise this is what I saw :-

I have to warn you though, before viewing, you might want to stop eating or prepare to gorge your eyeballs out cause what’s coming isn’t pretty.


Reminds you of the peanuts from “Crunch” doesn’t it?


This is why I can never use public toilets to do number 2. If I had to poo, it shall be done at home on my very own throne. Seriously if you really had to go and this was on the seat, would you? No!! If you said yes you are the biggest bullshitter in the world.

Anyways, this lead me to thinking, how in the world would you have to seat to mess up your whole aiming system. I mean seriously, you must be squatting to be misfiring like this, and if you did, shame on you. Didn’t your mommy taught you not to squat on a toilet seat. Have you not seen the signs before?


Balancing Act 101


Incase you didn’t know, bad things do happen to bad people. There is a reason they tell you not to squat on the toilet seat. No, its not because they’re sick of cleaning your shoe marks, misfiring piss [due to overestimating penis length], and in this case poo off the seats. But because you can get yourself seriously hurt.




If you barfed twice today, I have accomplished what i have set out to do. Jokes a side, please stop stepping on them seats for your butt’s sake.

Increase in Transit

Posted by Augustine Yong On 9:57 PM 0 comments
The agriculture department supplied chicken to a farmer in a village for a community project. "Did you receive the chickens we sent this morning" asked the officer. "Ah..well yes," replied the farmer, but sir, you didn't secured the cages properly, and after searching around the neighbourhood I only found 15. Puzzled the officer remarked "You did all right, we only sent 10"

Dog without License

Posted by Augustine Yong On 9:41 PM 0 comments
The local town council was on a drive to round up unlicensed dogs, a policeman wave down a car to the side curb, and the lady driver asked why she was stopped, the policeman pointed to the dog in the seat beside her, "Does your dog have a license?" "oh no" the lady said quickly. He doesn't need one. I do all the driving myself"